


en mémoire des perdus

by eli_beeli



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Azure Moon - Freeform, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Established Relationship, French Mercedes, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, POV Third Person Limited, Post-Azure Moon Route, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, also my mercie is always trans even if not directly mentioned, based on her last name and because there is criminally little lore about Lamine so my house now, but i made it more vague bc it seemed more narratively strong!, hey intsys let mercie fucking be sad and mourn!!!, so fucking let the girls!!!!!!, the wife is unnamed and you can think of whoever you want it to be!!!, when i wrote this it was in an edelgard lives au, where mercie and edie get married, you let the blue lion boys do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:27:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25439935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eli_beeli/pseuds/eli_beeli
Summary: mercedes is given time to mourn her baby brother.
Relationships: Jeritza von Hrym & Mercedes von Martritz, Mercedes von Martritz/Unspecified Female Character
Kudos: 8





	en mémoire des perdus

She had everything she’d ever dreamed of as a girl, everything she’d dreamed of since the war broke out- she lived in peace times, under a united Fodlan, she lived in a house with a loving wife and incredible children she’d hang the moon for every night if she could, she was _safe,_ she had a loving wife who she’d loved for years, she’d _saved_ someone.  
She felt guilty for wanting more. It was selfish, especially knowing how much others had lost, but still, she wished.

She wished her children could meet their Uncle Emile. She wished they could meet their royal aunts and uncles too, of course, but she constantly longed for him. She… she missed her baby brother. She wanted to make up for lost time, fussing over him and hugging him and offering him solace in times of sorrow, but she… she couldn’t.

Emile was dead. He’d died in her arms, rasping out her name as he squeezed her hand gently, as though he was still afraid of scaring her or startling her even though it had been _18 years._

  


She couldn’t save him.

He just bled out in her lap as she wept, sobbed, _screamed_ for her brother, kicked and screamed as Dedue scooped her up and hauled her away- it was war, and you could only linger on the battlefield for so long before your enemies made chase. It was an echo of her childhood, of her mother carrying her kicking and screaming for Emile, for _leaving him behind. She promised she wouldn’t leave him behind again-_

She snuck back to the battlefield that night, after everyone fell asleep- Azalea, her pegasus, was quiet, yielding to her every command so much more easily than normal, flying silently against the dark sky. She found his corpse exactly where she’d been forced to leave it, the armor already stripped by local bandits. She knelt beside him, cradling him in her arms again as she cried, softly this time.

 _“Je suis vraiment désolé de t'avoir quitté, petit frère, j'ai promis de ne pas le faire mais je n'avais pas le choix. Je suis tellement désolé de ne pas avoir pu te sauver, Déesse toute-puissante, Emile, je suis tellement désolée - s'il te plait, pardonne-moi, ma chère. Je … j'espère que vous vous reposez bien, mon doux frère. Je t'aime. Je t'aime sur la lune et en arrière, et je suis vraiment désolé de t'avoir manqué ainsi. Adieu, Emile - je t'aime.”_ Her tears fell heavily on the cold, _cold,_ pale boy in her arms, and she wiped at her eyes and lifted him into her arms- Goddess, feeling how light he was just made her want to break down again, half the blood already drained into the soil of the field, his body just as thin as she remembered from House Bartels- it nearly made her sick. She shook, very carefully slinging him over the saddle before hopping up herself. Azalea remained silent. She didn’t speak as they flew back- slower, so as not to lose him, and if the stablehand saw her, the girl didn’t say anything.

She carried him to the graveyard, the veil of her hat gently covering her face, and got to work.

By dawn, she was collapsed in the infirmary, overworked and overwhelmed and so _tired,_ and there was a new grave in the monastery graveyard, with a nun’s hat resting where the gravestone should be, protecting a worn hair ribbon in black and gold.

No one asked her about it, which was for the better. She’d made a little gravestone later, after the war, and then made another one to keep at her home. A dark stone with painted letters in gold, reading _‘Emile von Martritz, 1159-1185, beloved brother, he faced much hardship and yet clung to life so dearly, he will be missed.’_

  


“My light?” a voice asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. She turned, catching her wife’s eyes. “Are you alright? You seemed lost in your thoughts and then began to cry- it worried Aramis, so they came to get me.” Mercedes let out a weak laugh, wiping at her face with the heel of her palm.

“I’m fine, _mon coeur,_ just… Just remembering people again.” Her wife took her hand, squeezing gently.

“One of those days, is it?” she asked softly, and Mercedes buried her face in the junction of her wife’s neck.

“Yeah,” she muttered, her voice muffled. “It… It is.” Her wife hummed, wrapping her arms around her.

“Lets retire early, love. We can talk about him, if you want.” Mercedes nodded into her wife’s neck, sniffling pathetically.

“Yes please... _Je t’aime, mon coeur._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> alright!! so this was fun!! I really enjoyed writing it!! i hope you guys enjoy reading it too!!
> 
> if you want to see more of my mercedes thoughts and writing, my closed rp blog for her is godsmercie.tumblr.com, and my discord is eli egg#0096!!!! 
> 
> intsys did my girl fuckin dirty and i have Many Thoughts


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